Managing stress when looking after an elderly relative

Regular and effective relaxation is key to preventing and managing stress.

There are many different ways to relax and you might already have your own way of relaxing – a long bath, listening to music, walking in nature, massage, aromatherapy, yoga.

If your approach works then keep it up and just make sure you are doing it regularly. If not, you might consider these approaches:

Mindfulness meditation is proven to have numerous benefits on our physical, mental and emotional health. Because it works so well, numerous books and apps have been developed to promote mindfulness and help you practice it.

It’s proven that learning to breathe more deeply can help you feel a lot calmer.

Although it is actually a very simple thing to do, you might find it difficult to make a start. Like many others under stress, you might feel that you haven’t got enough time or energy to do something so simple.

However, you can try this anywhere, at anytime, whilst sitting or lying in any position you choose.

Briefly, you need to breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Count as you breathe. Start by counting ‘one, two, three, four’ as you breathe in and ‘one, two, three, four’ as you breathe out. Try to keep your shoulders down and relaxed, and place your hand on your stomach – it should rise as you breathe in and fall as you breathe out.

This NHS video will show you what to do

When we get stressed, we are more inclined to carry tension in various parts of our body. In extreme cases we will be aware of this tension as aches and pains such as headache or back ache.

This relaxation technique helps to release the tension in your body and can settle your thoughts and make you feel calmer. It involves contracting and relaxing the muscles to make you feel calmer.

When you start, it is easiest to do in a warm, quiet place, free from disturbances – perhaps in bed before you go to sleep. If possible dim the lights, switch off any phones and let people around know that you should not be disturbed for the next 20 minutes. Make yourself comfortable on the floor, on the bed or in a chair.

Complete details of how to do this are described in this NHS video.

After you have practised this a few times you will find you don’t need any instructions and can use the technique whenever you have time – perhaps in a waiting room, car park, whilst your parent is asleep?

Visualisation is a meditation technique which involves using your imagination. It can help you sleep, lower your blood pressure and help your body release stress relieving hormones.

The traditional method of counting sheep to get off to sleep would be a basic form of visualisation but there are many other and better options.

Headspace has a free simple 3 minute visualisation and Youtube features multiple channels and videos providing visualisation exercises to try.

The NHS has a guided beach visualisation to listen to.

The mental health charity, MIND, recommends drawing and colouring to help you feel relaxed by

• Distracting you from worrying thoughts
• Giving you an outlet and focus for your emotions
• Stimulating your senses

You can simply try this yourself or use one of the adult colouring books which have become very popular in recent years.