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How Long Will I Be Caring For Them?
The answer to this key question would make life easier for all concerned. It would remove all uncertainty, enable you to plan and perhaps even spur you or your loved ones into action.
Unfortunately – or fortunately – none of us have a crystal ball to see into the future and it is rare that any doctor or expert will answer this with a specific number.
That said, there are three crucial pieces of information about your parent which might help you get a sense of the possible timescales you could be dealing with:
-
Medical conditions
-
Age and sex
-
Care requirements
Medical Conditions
Different conditions are linked with different timescales in terms of needing ongoing family care.
If someone has been formally diagnosed with a terminal illness then this usually means that the doctors believe that the illness cannot be cured and is likely to be life limiting. However, the prognosis will be different for each person and can mean days, weeks, months or years depending on their condition and their treatment.
In the NHS, end of life care services tend to be provided for those who are thought to be in their final year of life although palliative care services (care which aims to relieve symptoms and improve quality of life) can be introduced at any stage.
Also, if doctors believe that someone might be in their final year, then they can complete a special form to ensure that their patient can receive priority access to some financial benefits such as attendance allowance. These arrangements are known as “the special rules”. The relevant forms are different in England and Scotland.
By contrast, adults diagnosed with a dementia or a progressive neurological condition can live for many years during which their care needs tend to increase as their condition worsens.
Age and Sex
Life insurance companies are constantly predicting life expectancy. They use a variety of information but year of birth and sex are two crucial factors.
You can apply this information yourself on the Office of National Statistics website which has a free to access life expectancy calculator.
It is well worth noting that the results are all based on averages. They are simply best guess predictions and the reality is that some of us will live longer and some of us will die earlier than predicted.
Insurance companies will take additional lifestyle information into account eg smoking and employment history. As a general rule, a history of cigarette smoking, alcohol use, or obesity can reduce life expectancy.
Based on data updated in 2024, ONS predict the following for men and women:
Females
|
Age (years) in 2025 |
Predicted life expectancy (years) |
1 in 4 will live to …… (years) |
1 in 10 will live to ……(years) |
Chances of living to 100 years of age |
|
60 |
87 |
94 |
99 |
6% |
|
65 |
87 |
94 |
98 |
6% |
|
70 |
88 |
94 |
98 |
5% |
|
75 |
89 |
94 |
98 |
5% |
|
80 |
90 |
94 |
98 |
5% |
|
85 |
92 |
95 |
99 |
6% |
|
90 |
95 |
97 |
100 |
9% |
|
95 |
98 |
100 |
102 |
21% |
|
100 |
102 |
103 |
105 |
100% |
|
102 |
104 |
104 |
106 |
n/a |
Males
|
Age (years) in 2025 |
Predicted life expectancy (years) |
1 in 4 will live to (years) |
1 in 10 will live to (years) |
Chances of living to 100 years of age |
|
60 |
85 |
92 |
97 |
4% |
|
65 |
85 |
92 |
96 |
3% |
|
70 |
86 |
92 |
96 |
3% |
|
75 |
87 |
92 |
96 |
3% |
|
80 |
89 |
93 |
97 |
3% |
|
85 |
91 |
94 |
97 |
4% |
|
90 |
94 |
96 |
99 |
6% |
|
95 |
98 |
99 |
101 |
17% |
|
100 |
102 |
103 |
104 |
n/a |
|
102 |
104 |
104 |
106 |
n/a |
Care requirements
This is an emerging area of research and the results are not as robust as those provided by ONS , however one study – based on older people living in France - examined timescales relating to different levels of frailty.
The researchers found key differences between men and women – it found that although women live longer than men, they have poorer health in later life. This is known as the “male–female health-survival paradox” and is a common finding.
The following time periods were commonly observed for those aged 75- 95 years who needed additional care or support:
|
Men |
Women |
|
|
Average time spent in a pre-frail state when health was no longer considered to be “robust” |
0.9-4.7 |
0.6-5.6 years |
|
Average time spent needing help with everyday tasks like housework, shopping, finances, healthcare – classed by the study as frail |
0.5-1.3 years |
1.1-3 years |
|
Average time spent needing intensive help with personal care activities such as bathing, hygiene, feeding – classed by the study as dependent |
0.7-1.2 years |
1.5-2.4 years |
Combining these data, this study found that some older people might need help for up to 8 -10 years during which time their care needs would increase.
In this study, the most common “home” factors” which affected the older people’s independence were inappropriate bathing facilities and stairs.
Conclusion
There are no simple answers to questions about timescales, but current research suggests that unless someone has been given a terminal diagnosis, the timeframes relate to sex, age, condition, and level of care needed .
It all depends where you are in terms of your carenting journey, but if you are already providing a lot of help with daily tasks, then your support might be needed for a further 1 - 3 years, potentially longer if your parent has been diagnosed with dementia or a progressive neurological condition.
Overall, ageing mothers tend to need support for longer than ageing fathers.